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hi im ellen and im a cancer. i like cats and Benedict Cumberbatch and toe socks. i can do vocals on expert when i play rock band. I used to be certifieddentist message me if you want my side blog

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"Women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone fat."

When Strangers Click, a 2011 documentary about online dating.

(via superpussy)

lost-machine:

isee-a-starrynight:

I shall have infinite Power!

stop fucking dividing by zero you little shit

lost-machine:

isee-a-starrynight:

I shall have infinite Power!

stop fucking dividing by zero you little shit

felinebot:

“tell my family i hate them, tell lindsay she was okay”

craplos:

ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.

edwad:

jaseherondale:

Did you know that in Australia it’s five times more likely that you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather than looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love

yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian

flyawaymax:

fuck i only have 151 hours left on this i better charge it quick

flyawaymax:

fuck i only have 151 hours left on this i better charge it quick

sketchmedesire:

A sixth grader’s advice to future sixth graders.

sketchmedesire:

A sixth grader’s advice to future sixth graders.

wimpynoodle:

I’M NOT EVEN GOOD AT THINGS I’M GOOD AT